So i just bought a wreck this journal, i looked through it and some of them seem very interesting. I am nervous to do this since i love writing and reading and i dont like destroying books. But i know that i can be too uptight sometimes and i really need to chill out. I have already jumped on the journal and sadly cracked it's spine. I have a feeling that this is going to be a fun time! I will keep you updated on it as i go along!
~Lonestar ☆
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Holding on to Hope
Hey guys,
So i want to give you trigger warning that this will be talking about some tough subjects today: Rape and Sexual assault. If you don't want to read don't go any further.
So you know when something happens to you, like something really bad, but you don't believe it? That's what just recently happened to me. You see the 21 year old i have talked about before on here got convicted of a sex crime. If you are reading this it is public information in the registry anyways. And we had gotten intimate while i was still in contact with him. Well i said that it was consensual, but really he manipulated me into doing it. If you are reading this, I know what you are going to say, it's not true and society has corrupted you. False, they didn't. Society is corrupt in some ways yes, but on this it is true. Well i believed he was innocent, and we weren't doing anything wrong. At the time legally we weren't, but honestly it just gives me the heebie jeebies thinking back on it. A 21 year old should not ever have sexual relations with a 17 year old, especially if they are already going through legal issues. Well I had gotten in a fight with my mom today about talking to him and she apparently talked to his parole officer. He dumbed down the legal issue, apparently it was bigger than i thought. I also got in contact with his ex, whom he apparently raped 3 times, and sexually assaulted a lot more than that. Think about it people, i was the THIRD person who he has done this too. I am pissed, no i am more than pissed. I am absolutely livid. Deep down somewhere i still care for him, and if i bring him to court i know i will feel bad and won't be able to look him in the eye. But i can not let him do this again! Right now i am still in shock and shaken up. I know i am still in denial, and will be for a period of time, but i know that will fade. I am actually crying and nauseous right now, it's weird to think that something so bad has happened to someone so innocent, me. I don't know what else to say other than i am just not doing so well.
If you read this, know that i am very angry at you and i will not let you do something like this again. I will find someone who actually loves me and will NOT pressure me into doing things. Goodbye forever
I really need hope right now. Holding on to Hope.
~Lonestar ☆
So i want to give you trigger warning that this will be talking about some tough subjects today: Rape and Sexual assault. If you don't want to read don't go any further.
So you know when something happens to you, like something really bad, but you don't believe it? That's what just recently happened to me. You see the 21 year old i have talked about before on here got convicted of a sex crime. If you are reading this it is public information in the registry anyways. And we had gotten intimate while i was still in contact with him. Well i said that it was consensual, but really he manipulated me into doing it. If you are reading this, I know what you are going to say, it's not true and society has corrupted you. False, they didn't. Society is corrupt in some ways yes, but on this it is true. Well i believed he was innocent, and we weren't doing anything wrong. At the time legally we weren't, but honestly it just gives me the heebie jeebies thinking back on it. A 21 year old should not ever have sexual relations with a 17 year old, especially if they are already going through legal issues. Well I had gotten in a fight with my mom today about talking to him and she apparently talked to his parole officer. He dumbed down the legal issue, apparently it was bigger than i thought. I also got in contact with his ex, whom he apparently raped 3 times, and sexually assaulted a lot more than that. Think about it people, i was the THIRD person who he has done this too. I am pissed, no i am more than pissed. I am absolutely livid. Deep down somewhere i still care for him, and if i bring him to court i know i will feel bad and won't be able to look him in the eye. But i can not let him do this again! Right now i am still in shock and shaken up. I know i am still in denial, and will be for a period of time, but i know that will fade. I am actually crying and nauseous right now, it's weird to think that something so bad has happened to someone so innocent, me. I don't know what else to say other than i am just not doing so well.
If you read this, know that i am very angry at you and i will not let you do something like this again. I will find someone who actually loves me and will NOT pressure me into doing things. Goodbye forever
I really need hope right now. Holding on to Hope.
~Lonestar ☆
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
vacation
Well guys vacation has been fun. I have been able to recharge and I think I am ready to get back to school, writing and work.
I landed last Saturday and spent the first two days visiting my Grammy. She is struggling so it was hard to see her. We then drove up to Frankfort, MI, a really cute tourist town. We ate at the Stormcloud (try their pretzel sticks). In the back they had a map of michigan, the US, and the world. people could stick pins in from where they were from.There were people from all over, there was even a pin in antartica! I got sick and had to stayv in bed the first couple days, but then i had more fun. I visited my aunt and uncle and rode on their pontoon boat, I also got to cruise by Interlochen, a really prestigious art boarding high school. I wish I could go there! The campus is absolutely beautiful! From there we had dinner with some old friends, visited Lake Michigan, had fudge and ice cream, and I got a glass dragon. I also got swimmers itch, not pleasent.
On saturday we drove to grand rapids where i saw my cousins and went to dinner with them. Sunday I went to church and a pool party with my bff Trinity. Yesterday I saw my non-blood brother Calum. Then today our really good friends officially adopted their daughter, which was exciting! She is my age and we have really started to bond.
There have been a few good plot twists in my book, so I have to rewrite some parts. That is going to be alot of work and I hope I will be finished soon. My parents keep bragging to everyone that I wrote a book. It can be embarrassing at times. I guess if I wrote a N.Y. times bestseller then it would be something to brag about, but I didnt.
Another interesting thing is that I think I refound Christ this weekend. I am unsure how I feel about it though.
Well talk to y'all soon!
~Lonestar☆
I landed last Saturday and spent the first two days visiting my Grammy. She is struggling so it was hard to see her. We then drove up to Frankfort, MI, a really cute tourist town. We ate at the Stormcloud (try their pretzel sticks). In the back they had a map of michigan, the US, and the world. people could stick pins in from where they were from.There were people from all over, there was even a pin in antartica! I got sick and had to stayv in bed the first couple days, but then i had more fun. I visited my aunt and uncle and rode on their pontoon boat, I also got to cruise by Interlochen, a really prestigious art boarding high school. I wish I could go there! The campus is absolutely beautiful! From there we had dinner with some old friends, visited Lake Michigan, had fudge and ice cream, and I got a glass dragon. I also got swimmers itch, not pleasent.
On saturday we drove to grand rapids where i saw my cousins and went to dinner with them. Sunday I went to church and a pool party with my bff Trinity. Yesterday I saw my non-blood brother Calum. Then today our really good friends officially adopted their daughter, which was exciting! She is my age and we have really started to bond.
There have been a few good plot twists in my book, so I have to rewrite some parts. That is going to be alot of work and I hope I will be finished soon. My parents keep bragging to everyone that I wrote a book. It can be embarrassing at times. I guess if I wrote a N.Y. times bestseller then it would be something to brag about, but I didnt.
Another interesting thing is that I think I refound Christ this weekend. I am unsure how I feel about it though.
Well talk to y'all soon!
~Lonestar☆
Friday, August 1, 2014
Tech free vacation
Hey guys,
So first I got my new glasses today and I know longer have double vision when working at the computer, which is a huge help! Next on Saturday morning, at about 3 am, I will be leaving for 11 days for a vacation in Michigan. I have decided that I am not going to bring my Ipad and just spend time with family and friends. So I will be offline for the time, but when I get back I will for sure give you a long blog post about my time there.
~Lonestar ☆
Countdown- 42 until 18th birthday
1 until vacation
20 until senior year
So first I got my new glasses today and I know longer have double vision when working at the computer, which is a huge help! Next on Saturday morning, at about 3 am, I will be leaving for 11 days for a vacation in Michigan. I have decided that I am not going to bring my Ipad and just spend time with family and friends. So I will be offline for the time, but when I get back I will for sure give you a long blog post about my time there.
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