So i just bought a wreck this journal, i looked through it and some of them seem very interesting. I am nervous to do this since i love writing and reading and i dont like destroying books. But i know that i can be too uptight sometimes and i really need to chill out. I have already jumped on the journal and sadly cracked it's spine. I have a feeling that this is going to be a fun time! I will keep you updated on it as i go along!
~Lonestar ☆
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Holding on to Hope
Hey guys,
So i want to give you trigger warning that this will be talking about some tough subjects today: Rape and Sexual assault. If you don't want to read don't go any further.
So you know when something happens to you, like something really bad, but you don't believe it? That's what just recently happened to me. You see the 21 year old i have talked about before on here got convicted of a sex crime. If you are reading this it is public information in the registry anyways. And we had gotten intimate while i was still in contact with him. Well i said that it was consensual, but really he manipulated me into doing it. If you are reading this, I know what you are going to say, it's not true and society has corrupted you. False, they didn't. Society is corrupt in some ways yes, but on this it is true. Well i believed he was innocent, and we weren't doing anything wrong. At the time legally we weren't, but honestly it just gives me the heebie jeebies thinking back on it. A 21 year old should not ever have sexual relations with a 17 year old, especially if they are already going through legal issues. Well I had gotten in a fight with my mom today about talking to him and she apparently talked to his parole officer. He dumbed down the legal issue, apparently it was bigger than i thought. I also got in contact with his ex, whom he apparently raped 3 times, and sexually assaulted a lot more than that. Think about it people, i was the THIRD person who he has done this too. I am pissed, no i am more than pissed. I am absolutely livid. Deep down somewhere i still care for him, and if i bring him to court i know i will feel bad and won't be able to look him in the eye. But i can not let him do this again! Right now i am still in shock and shaken up. I know i am still in denial, and will be for a period of time, but i know that will fade. I am actually crying and nauseous right now, it's weird to think that something so bad has happened to someone so innocent, me. I don't know what else to say other than i am just not doing so well.
If you read this, know that i am very angry at you and i will not let you do something like this again. I will find someone who actually loves me and will NOT pressure me into doing things. Goodbye forever
I really need hope right now. Holding on to Hope.
~Lonestar ☆
So i want to give you trigger warning that this will be talking about some tough subjects today: Rape and Sexual assault. If you don't want to read don't go any further.
So you know when something happens to you, like something really bad, but you don't believe it? That's what just recently happened to me. You see the 21 year old i have talked about before on here got convicted of a sex crime. If you are reading this it is public information in the registry anyways. And we had gotten intimate while i was still in contact with him. Well i said that it was consensual, but really he manipulated me into doing it. If you are reading this, I know what you are going to say, it's not true and society has corrupted you. False, they didn't. Society is corrupt in some ways yes, but on this it is true. Well i believed he was innocent, and we weren't doing anything wrong. At the time legally we weren't, but honestly it just gives me the heebie jeebies thinking back on it. A 21 year old should not ever have sexual relations with a 17 year old, especially if they are already going through legal issues. Well I had gotten in a fight with my mom today about talking to him and she apparently talked to his parole officer. He dumbed down the legal issue, apparently it was bigger than i thought. I also got in contact with his ex, whom he apparently raped 3 times, and sexually assaulted a lot more than that. Think about it people, i was the THIRD person who he has done this too. I am pissed, no i am more than pissed. I am absolutely livid. Deep down somewhere i still care for him, and if i bring him to court i know i will feel bad and won't be able to look him in the eye. But i can not let him do this again! Right now i am still in shock and shaken up. I know i am still in denial, and will be for a period of time, but i know that will fade. I am actually crying and nauseous right now, it's weird to think that something so bad has happened to someone so innocent, me. I don't know what else to say other than i am just not doing so well.
If you read this, know that i am very angry at you and i will not let you do something like this again. I will find someone who actually loves me and will NOT pressure me into doing things. Goodbye forever
I really need hope right now. Holding on to Hope.
~Lonestar ☆
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
vacation
Well guys vacation has been fun. I have been able to recharge and I think I am ready to get back to school, writing and work.
I landed last Saturday and spent the first two days visiting my Grammy. She is struggling so it was hard to see her. We then drove up to Frankfort, MI, a really cute tourist town. We ate at the Stormcloud (try their pretzel sticks). In the back they had a map of michigan, the US, and the world. people could stick pins in from where they were from.There were people from all over, there was even a pin in antartica! I got sick and had to stayv in bed the first couple days, but then i had more fun. I visited my aunt and uncle and rode on their pontoon boat, I also got to cruise by Interlochen, a really prestigious art boarding high school. I wish I could go there! The campus is absolutely beautiful! From there we had dinner with some old friends, visited Lake Michigan, had fudge and ice cream, and I got a glass dragon. I also got swimmers itch, not pleasent.
On saturday we drove to grand rapids where i saw my cousins and went to dinner with them. Sunday I went to church and a pool party with my bff Trinity. Yesterday I saw my non-blood brother Calum. Then today our really good friends officially adopted their daughter, which was exciting! She is my age and we have really started to bond.
There have been a few good plot twists in my book, so I have to rewrite some parts. That is going to be alot of work and I hope I will be finished soon. My parents keep bragging to everyone that I wrote a book. It can be embarrassing at times. I guess if I wrote a N.Y. times bestseller then it would be something to brag about, but I didnt.
Another interesting thing is that I think I refound Christ this weekend. I am unsure how I feel about it though.
Well talk to y'all soon!
~Lonestar☆
I landed last Saturday and spent the first two days visiting my Grammy. She is struggling so it was hard to see her. We then drove up to Frankfort, MI, a really cute tourist town. We ate at the Stormcloud (try their pretzel sticks). In the back they had a map of michigan, the US, and the world. people could stick pins in from where they were from.There were people from all over, there was even a pin in antartica! I got sick and had to stayv in bed the first couple days, but then i had more fun. I visited my aunt and uncle and rode on their pontoon boat, I also got to cruise by Interlochen, a really prestigious art boarding high school. I wish I could go there! The campus is absolutely beautiful! From there we had dinner with some old friends, visited Lake Michigan, had fudge and ice cream, and I got a glass dragon. I also got swimmers itch, not pleasent.
On saturday we drove to grand rapids where i saw my cousins and went to dinner with them. Sunday I went to church and a pool party with my bff Trinity. Yesterday I saw my non-blood brother Calum. Then today our really good friends officially adopted their daughter, which was exciting! She is my age and we have really started to bond.
There have been a few good plot twists in my book, so I have to rewrite some parts. That is going to be alot of work and I hope I will be finished soon. My parents keep bragging to everyone that I wrote a book. It can be embarrassing at times. I guess if I wrote a N.Y. times bestseller then it would be something to brag about, but I didnt.
Another interesting thing is that I think I refound Christ this weekend. I am unsure how I feel about it though.
Well talk to y'all soon!
~Lonestar☆
Friday, August 1, 2014
Tech free vacation
Hey guys,
So first I got my new glasses today and I know longer have double vision when working at the computer, which is a huge help! Next on Saturday morning, at about 3 am, I will be leaving for 11 days for a vacation in Michigan. I have decided that I am not going to bring my Ipad and just spend time with family and friends. So I will be offline for the time, but when I get back I will for sure give you a long blog post about my time there.
~Lonestar ☆
Countdown- 42 until 18th birthday
1 until vacation
20 until senior year
So first I got my new glasses today and I know longer have double vision when working at the computer, which is a huge help! Next on Saturday morning, at about 3 am, I will be leaving for 11 days for a vacation in Michigan. I have decided that I am not going to bring my Ipad and just spend time with family and friends. So I will be offline for the time, but when I get back I will for sure give you a long blog post about my time there.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Covers, webinars, and my stupid health
What up!
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Journal entry
I got a twitter!!
Excitement and Nerves
Hey guys,
So last night i made an impulsive decision, one that will hopefully turn out good in the end. So at my work there is a girl who is an absolutely amazing artist who offered to do my cover. I immediately accepted, but now i dont know what to ask for as a cover. I have a few ideas as i would want for movie posters and the like, but not an original book cover. She said the best way she could create a cover is if she could read the manuscript, well it isnt finished. She has been asking for the past couple weeks when i am going to be done, the thing is i really dont know. I am so close though, like i only have a few more chapters to write then i have to edit for a proof copy. Well i know that is probably going to be a month out until i will be able to have it ready for a proof copy. So last night i decided to print off what i had as a proof copy (425 pages! over 100k words!) and let her read it. I am going to warn her beforehand that it isnt finished, but i really hope she enjoys what i have so far. It's nerve wracking because no one has read more than a couple pages. I'm handing it off tonight at work and i really hope she likes it!
~Lonestar ✩
Countdown-42 days until my 18th birthday
So last night i made an impulsive decision, one that will hopefully turn out good in the end. So at my work there is a girl who is an absolutely amazing artist who offered to do my cover. I immediately accepted, but now i dont know what to ask for as a cover. I have a few ideas as i would want for movie posters and the like, but not an original book cover. She said the best way she could create a cover is if she could read the manuscript, well it isnt finished. She has been asking for the past couple weeks when i am going to be done, the thing is i really dont know. I am so close though, like i only have a few more chapters to write then i have to edit for a proof copy. Well i know that is probably going to be a month out until i will be able to have it ready for a proof copy. So last night i decided to print off what i had as a proof copy (425 pages! over 100k words!) and let her read it. I am going to warn her beforehand that it isnt finished, but i really hope she enjoys what i have so far. It's nerve wracking because no one has read more than a couple pages. I'm handing it off tonight at work and i really hope she likes it!
~Lonestar ✩
Countdown-42 days until my 18th birthday
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Long awaited update
Well it looks like some people are still keeping up with my blog. I guess that's a good thing, let's me know people are still interested in my life and my writing. So a lot of things have happened since Christmas. The first update that I am sure is long awaited, I am out of my writers block. I currently have 57 chapters written and about 6 left to go. Editing will need to be done and then I will have a proof copy ready for an editor and beta readers. Second piece of news, I have a job working at a sonic. It's not much but I am still a teen. Third, I have my permit. Fourth, I am going into my senior year (finally!).Fifth, I went to TN for a week early in the summer which was awesome and I will tell you more about in a bit. Sixth, I have still not ranked up in TKD, but I know I will soon. Seventh, lots of drama at home.Eighth, I have a new best friend named Abigail. She is absolutely amazing.
So first the book. Wow it has been a long road so far and I know I still have a long ways to go. For those reading the blog, the fact that some of you came back is awesome. It shows I have support even if I never get any comments. I am quite determined to get this book finished and I will for you guys and all the people who know about it and are supporting me. As I am looking at the outline, it seems as though Spitfire is going to be turned into a trilogy. At first i didn't see this coming but It will work out better this way. I know you are all excited and I really hope that it gets published next summer. For all of you guys in here now, I will make sure you get discounts.
Sonic is defiantly interesting. We actually have a ghost that lives there that I nicknamed fred. He is a poltergeist and loves messing with us. The other night he knocked down a bottle of cookie dough syrup make it go everywhere and wasting it. I don't know if he is antsy or what. Thankfully my manager has had encounters with him and I didn't get in any trouble.
My permit and senior year is a big deal to me because this is my 4th state/high school. Due to all the moves and financial problems I haven't been able to take drivers ed until recently. Thankfully I am a good driver so if I get all my hours I should have my permit on my 18th birthday which is like 50 days away. Due to the moves my credits have been walked up so having one more year to go out of 5 is quite exciting.
TN was great. I got to see Haven, Marcus, John, and a lot of other people. I even made a couple new friends. We went to the lake, movies, and had a bonfire. Malificent is a great film and I highly recommend it. There were like 15 people at the bonfire. We ended up playing chicken at the lake and then playing spin the bottle. I am not going into details, but let's just say it go interesting. I got into some fights with my friends and so some of the visit was sucky, but we pushed it off and enjoyed our time anyways.
TKD has been going okay. It is sometimes really frustrating to see everyone around me ranking up, but at the same time I know I earned my rank and so did they. I know that I still have a little ways to go before I am back where I was and that's okay. My instructor said I should have my red belt by December and hopefully my black belt by next December!
So I know most are probably interested in this drama I am talking about. Well let's just say that I got into a relationship with a 21 year old felon. My parents didn't react to this well and grounded me/banned me from ever seeing him again. Well I still have feelings for him but at the same time I am losing them. It is all so confusing because my parents say he is manipulative and a liar. When I know he is so sweet and caring. It is kinda tearing me apart. Not to mention I have amazing guy back bin TN that I am crushing on and he likes me back. That and he is actually going somewhere with his life and is my age. Right now I have decided to stay single while I finish my book and graduate high school, unless I find someone here at home. I think that staying out of teen drama is probably the best idea though.
Abigail is a great girl friend. She is the first one here I have really gotten close to here and it is pretty nice having someone to confide in and hang out with. She is amazing at soccer and already has scholarship offers for college, I am so proud!
I visited a college I really like earlier this week. I am going to apply there this August actually!
All in all, life has been hectic but it looks like it is settling back down. Wish me luck on my book and 8 will update you within the week! Well it is like 3 am and I am waking up kinda early so goodnight, or goodmorning, guys!
~Lonestar ☆
So first the book. Wow it has been a long road so far and I know I still have a long ways to go. For those reading the blog, the fact that some of you came back is awesome. It shows I have support even if I never get any comments. I am quite determined to get this book finished and I will for you guys and all the people who know about it and are supporting me. As I am looking at the outline, it seems as though Spitfire is going to be turned into a trilogy. At first i didn't see this coming but It will work out better this way. I know you are all excited and I really hope that it gets published next summer. For all of you guys in here now, I will make sure you get discounts.
Sonic is defiantly interesting. We actually have a ghost that lives there that I nicknamed fred. He is a poltergeist and loves messing with us. The other night he knocked down a bottle of cookie dough syrup make it go everywhere and wasting it. I don't know if he is antsy or what. Thankfully my manager has had encounters with him and I didn't get in any trouble.
My permit and senior year is a big deal to me because this is my 4th state/high school. Due to all the moves and financial problems I haven't been able to take drivers ed until recently. Thankfully I am a good driver so if I get all my hours I should have my permit on my 18th birthday which is like 50 days away. Due to the moves my credits have been walked up so having one more year to go out of 5 is quite exciting.
TN was great. I got to see Haven, Marcus, John, and a lot of other people. I even made a couple new friends. We went to the lake, movies, and had a bonfire. Malificent is a great film and I highly recommend it. There were like 15 people at the bonfire. We ended up playing chicken at the lake and then playing spin the bottle. I am not going into details, but let's just say it go interesting. I got into some fights with my friends and so some of the visit was sucky, but we pushed it off and enjoyed our time anyways.
TKD has been going okay. It is sometimes really frustrating to see everyone around me ranking up, but at the same time I know I earned my rank and so did they. I know that I still have a little ways to go before I am back where I was and that's okay. My instructor said I should have my red belt by December and hopefully my black belt by next December!
So I know most are probably interested in this drama I am talking about. Well let's just say that I got into a relationship with a 21 year old felon. My parents didn't react to this well and grounded me/banned me from ever seeing him again. Well I still have feelings for him but at the same time I am losing them. It is all so confusing because my parents say he is manipulative and a liar. When I know he is so sweet and caring. It is kinda tearing me apart. Not to mention I have amazing guy back bin TN that I am crushing on and he likes me back. That and he is actually going somewhere with his life and is my age. Right now I have decided to stay single while I finish my book and graduate high school, unless I find someone here at home. I think that staying out of teen drama is probably the best idea though.
Abigail is a great girl friend. She is the first one here I have really gotten close to here and it is pretty nice having someone to confide in and hang out with. She is amazing at soccer and already has scholarship offers for college, I am so proud!
I visited a college I really like earlier this week. I am going to apply there this August actually!
All in all, life has been hectic but it looks like it is settling back down. Wish me luck on my book and 8 will update you within the week! Well it is like 3 am and I am waking up kinda early so goodnight, or goodmorning, guys!
~Lonestar ☆
Saturday, July 19, 2014
It's been awhile
Hey everyone, so it has been a long long time since i have been on here, probably about 6 months by now. So i am sorry i kept you guys waiting for an update. I am still in a writers block and i fear i will be for awhile, i have tried everything in the book to push through it but to no avail. Hopefully i will be out of it soon, but for now so long, farewell.
~Lonestar ☆
~Lonestar ☆
Monday, January 27, 2014
Writers Block
A nightmare that has been haunting me for weeks. This is why i haven't updated you guys and i am so sorry! I was able to write a few future chapters and I have a blurb that i thought you might enjoy! :)
I just kind of know, well let's see you said that if i don't want to live my past life that you would understand right. Well if i play off this whole amnesia thing, then i can do that easier than we think, right? I don't know honestly, it will be kind of difficult" he slapped a hand over my mouth "Shut.Up." i licked his hand and he pulled it off wiping it off on my shirt. i smacked his shoulder and he smacked mine back until we just started slapping each other's hands like girls in cat fight. then we stuck our tongues out at each other and burst into a fit of laughter. Once I could finally breathe again my eyes flicked around and i sighed. "Carter, I am serious though. I think that i am going to start over." He hung his head and nodded "Alright, i will just tell them i had no success." I nodded and played with the edge of the blanket, i just hope that this is the best idea.
~Lonestar ☆
I just kind of know, well let's see you said that if i don't want to live my past life that you would understand right. Well if i play off this whole amnesia thing, then i can do that easier than we think, right? I don't know honestly, it will be kind of difficult" he slapped a hand over my mouth "Shut.Up." i licked his hand and he pulled it off wiping it off on my shirt. i smacked his shoulder and he smacked mine back until we just started slapping each other's hands like girls in cat fight. then we stuck our tongues out at each other and burst into a fit of laughter. Once I could finally breathe again my eyes flicked around and i sighed. "Carter, I am serious though. I think that i am going to start over." He hung his head and nodded "Alright, i will just tell them i had no success." I nodded and played with the edge of the blanket, i just hope that this is the best idea.
~Lonestar ☆
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Week long sleepover
Hey everyone,
It is I again. So i have spent the past week at my friends house and it has been really fun and entertaining. We went to the mall, the movies twice, a Starshot Black concert. Her parents and their friends got drunk and i had to help them play some game where the couples have to try to write the same answer as their spouse without knowing what the other wrote. It was really funny but mostly becuase they were drunk. I met a kid named Ben who is absolutley adorable and amazing in general. We spent time with him yesterday and today. We had a bonfire last night and only a couple people showed up out of like 15 invited, which really sucks. But with the few that showed up we hung out by the fire, then it got to cold so we came in and snuggled while watching Les Miserables, a great movie by the way. Then we watched mean girls. So now it is like 2:30 in the morning and my extra protective friend has decided that he dosent want me to work, i punched him in the gut and he got off my case.
The book is going a bit slower than expected, but thats okay. A lot of random parts are now being added and things are being edited, i still havent finished writing out the rest of the book! It dosent make sense but my main character has taken control of it all and i cant really do anything about it. My writing seems to be getting better and better as time goes on. I have let people read snip bits of the book and apperantly they really like it. Well i should probably get back to writing, or maybe sleep, i am unsure right now.
Goodnight everyone and Happy New Year!!!!
~Lonestar ☆
~Lonestar ☆
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